Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
