I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
