Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
