You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
