This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
