Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
