Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Duicew1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference

Fav 4 1681 1129
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

Fav 16 3500 1322
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

(847): View more from Illinois

Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

Fav 63 3319 6536
share tweet
(786): View more from Florida

All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

Fav 49 9756 1599
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.

Fav 11 3817 1199
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.

Fav 11 1306 3760
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(658): View more from

Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

Fav 5 2831 1148
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.

Fav 1 938 604
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.

Fav 2 64 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT