I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
someone threw a dead crab at me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
