i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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