I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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