O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
