you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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