i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I need to sanitize my soul.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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