Have you finally orgasmed yet?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My balls are so social today.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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