Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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