so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize