Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
