I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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