my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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