My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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