I just made out with a guy for $7.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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