Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
