Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.