and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him