Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
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she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!