Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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