I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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