I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
