I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
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Are we still banned from the library?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
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Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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