I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i dont even know how to be here
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize