I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
