I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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