you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I smell stomach acid.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
