i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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