i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
