Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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