Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
