You smell like a Billy Joel song
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Houston, we have a squirter
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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