I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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