We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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