i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
