I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
