TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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