so that wasnt chicken after all
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
