I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
