A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize