I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
