I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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