If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize