i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
