so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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