Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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