dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
