Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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