The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
