My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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