Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
