My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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