I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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