what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
