the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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