It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
