She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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