I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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