These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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